


Mirrors

by purplesocrates



Series: Recovery [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post Fall, slow burner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 14:53:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9187091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplesocrates/pseuds/purplesocrates
Summary: Post fall Hannibal and Will recover together. Will is struggling. Slow burner.





	

**Author's Note:**

> There will be more just posting to get so,e feedback before I write more. 
> 
> Thank you lovely fannibals for being so lovely x

Will was tired, he seemed to always be tired these days he supposed it was the wounds still healing or maybe the heat he wasn't used to the warmth and had always preferred the cold. He missed the comforting blanket of snowfall, the constant chill in the air. It was always warm here, degrees of heat, sometimes a breeze sometimes just stagnant air. He would sleep most of the day in the bedroom with the ceiling fan on and the windows open listening to the waves and the whirr of electricity. At night when it was cooler he would wander down to the beach and look at the black waves rolling in under the moonlight, he would look at his hands and see them still covered in dragon blood. He would stay out there most of the night while Hannibal slept in the bed, it was like they were existing in shifts. 

Hannibal spent his days reading and sitting in the sun, his skin was changing to a nice shade of brown and his hair was lighter. He liked the feel of the heat on his wounds and found the heat reviving. He would make food for them both and try to coax Will to eat which he would but only after Hannibal had left the room. He would take walks on the beach, short at first then longer as his body got stronger. He hoped soon he would be able to swim, he missed the feel of cutting through the water. He would think of swimming with the weight of Will against him, struggling against the current, their blood mixing with the salt of the sea, gasping and struggling for breath. He would close his eyes and let those memories wash over him, he knew the only way to overcome the trauma was to confront it head on. He was who he was he didn't shy away from fear.

Will scared him though, that was a fear that went straight down to his bones, to the marrow, the very centre of himself. Will and his restlessness was something that creeped into Hannibal when he would hear the footfalls soft and heavy as Will returned from his night musings on the beach. He would flop down on the sofa and close his eyes pretending to sleep until Hannibal got up and made coffee which he would leave for Will before he went out for his walk. By the time Hannibal got back Will had claimed the bed and would be fitfully sleeping. 

Hannibal tried not to watch Will, not to notice him, his movements, his breathing. He couldn't help it he had become attuned. He remembered mirroring him when Hannibal was in the institution, walking when he walked standing opposite him, moving when he moved, breathing when he breathed. He felt like it was a habit he now could not break. He missed Will's voice though, longed to hear it again, he wondered if the scar on his face would have changed the way he spoke, the way he sounded. He longed to run his fingers along it as it healed, feel the raised skin.

"Hello Will." The old greeting, the habit of these words Hannibal hoped would coax Will to him as he stood just beside Will who was sat starring out at the waves. Hannibal remained standing to see what Will would do, whether he would just get up and go back inside or if he would speak break this silence hanging between them like a veil neither of them could move.

"Hello Hannibal'". Will said and his voice was different, raspy from under use and probably because the shape of the inside of his mouth had been changed, he could probably feel the scar with his tongue when he spoke, unconsciously drawn to it. Hannibal shivered slightly at the thought of it, what that scar would feel like from the inside of Will's mouth he found he was touching his own cheek with his tongue imagining it. 

"It's nice to hear your voice." Hannibal said and he slowly sank himself into the sand next to Will. They both watched the waves in silence. 

"It feels strange. To talk." Will said his voice still raspy, he cleared his throat and tried again. "I feel like this isn't my voice."

"Much how the dragon felt." Hannibal said before he could stop himself and he hoped he hadn't pushed too far. Always prodding Will, he couldn't help it, he just constantly wanted to see what Will would do. This entropy they had been existing in had angered him more than he realised. He wanted to shake Will. Instead he just sighed.  
Then Hannibal realised Will had smiled, a broken strange smile but a smile nonetheless. It was glorious and Hannibal found he was also smiling. "Yes I can empathise with that aspect now." Will said still not looking at Hannibal.

"There is nothing that you cannot empathise with Will that's your problem." Except, Hannibal thought, with me at this moment or perhaps you can and you don't care. 

Will smiled and again and nodded. "Yes that is true Doctor Lecter, very true."

"I'm not a doctor here Will, you can just call me Hannibal. I think after everything we have been through it would be more appropriate to use our first names." Hannibal said trying not to sound hurt.

"You are a doctor though. To me." Will said his voice was almost a whisper like a confession. "You stitched me up, you stopped the bleeding."

Hannibal smiled and realised Will had not meant to hurt him, he was just trying to establish where they were with each other. The boundaries kept moving.

"I also caused some of the bleeding." Hannibal said staring out at the waves.

"That was before." Will said.

Hannibal looked at Will's profile in the moonlight, the scars on his face were red, his skin paler than it should be in this heat it shone in this light. His hair was longer again and he had a beard which was unkempt and must have been bothering him in this heat. 

"Why don't you shave?" Hannibal asked. "I could cut your hair for you if you like? Might help with the heat."

Will realised he had not actually consciously looked at himself in the mirror for the whole time they had been here, he hadn't noticed that he had grown a beard. His hands went up to his face and he felt the bristly hair there, he wondered what he looked liked. He suddenly felt quite self conscious and was glad of the dark.

"I hadn't thought about it." Will said, the offer of Hannibal cutting his hair had not entirely registered with him, Hannibal decided not to push it.

"If you were awake in the day then maybe you would. You need to start being awake in the day Will." Hannibal said he wanted to touch Will's face to stroke his scars but he didn't Will seemed entire distances away from him no matter how close they sat together. No matter how close they had been slaying the dragon together, clinging to each other in the water as death and life seemed an equally likely possibility. In some ways they had died in the water and were now reborn, it felt more like purgatory to Hannibal though rather than the heaven he may have hoped for.

"It's easier to sleep in the day. Less nightmares." Will said matter of factly.

"I will chase your nightmares away Will, you must know that." Hannibal said watching Will intently now, his eyes were reflecting the stars and it made Hannibal's heart ache to see it. A whole world wrapped up inside of him aching to be released.

"What if you are my nightmare?" Will said earnestly. "Could you chase yourself away?"

Hannibal did not respond straight away that fear, that gut wrenching terror was back and he had to breathe into it, to take a bite of it before he said another word. He couldn't help himself any longer if this was to be it he had to touch him one more time or he would go mad. Hannibal reached out a hand touched Will on the cheek lightly stroking the scar there. "Do you want me to leave?" Hannibal said his tone was even but he felt like he had shattered into glass, the sand melting around them and cracking into a million pieces. 

"Would you go?" Will asked he had not moved his face to look at Hannibal he had not reacted to being touched.

"If you wanted me to yes." Hannibal said and he knew it was true, despite himself he knew he would leave but only if Will asked him to. "Do you want me to?"

The pause before his answer stretched out to breaking. Will turned and looked at Hannibal whose hand was still on Will's cheek. "No. I don't want you to leave." Hannibal smiled and was relieved, he could never predict Will it was the thing he loved the most about him.

"Good." Hannibal said and removed his hand from Will's cheek. 

 

* * * *

Will woke up to the smell of coffee, it was morning late morning but morning. He opened his eyes to the brightness of the room, Hannibal had opened the curtains and the windows, the ceiling fan was still whirring. Will got up slowly ran his hands through his hair and realised how long it was. He got up and went to the bathroom he looked in the mirror for the first time since they got here. His skin was pale and their were shadows under his eyes, the new scar on his cheek was partially obscured by the mess of hair on his face that was his beard. His hair hung over his face and he could only just make out his eyes which seemed darker somehow. He put his hand up and pushed the hair away from his face so he could examine the old scar Hannibal had left him, it had faded but with the paleness of his skin it seemed like it had re-emerged. He thought briefly about Molly and then pushed her aside that was before. He looked at the new scar on his cheek as he prodded it from the inside with his tongue. He traced it with his fingers at the same time, the skin was still quite sensitive he felt like if he pushed hard enough he could tear through again, poke his tongue out of the hole. It was an obscene image that should have made him feel something but it didn't.

Will pushed his hair behind his ears and opened the cupboard there were scissors, shaving foam and a razor. He took them all out of the cupboard and closed the mirrored door. He cut the length from his beard first before running the hot water as he lathered his face in the foam. He slowly shaved off the beard, hair coming away in clumps with the foam getting stuck in the plug hole. He pressed on until it was all off and then rinsed the remnants of foam from his face, smoothing his hand down his his neck and across his face. He wiped his face with a towel and looked at his reflection. The skin under the beard was even paler and the new scar quite irritated now that he had run a razor over it. Will decided he should shower too try to wake himself up, Hannibal was right he should try staying awake in the day.

Hannibal could hear the running water in the bathroom and smiled to himself. At last Will would join him in the daylight. He had watched over Will last night as he slept, he had sat in the small uncomfortable chair in the bedroom and watched as Will's eyes moved violently under his eyelids. He had studied Will as he thrashed and sweated for a while but then became still, almost too still and Hannibal had to put his hand over Will's nose and mouth to make sure he was still breathing. His hand hovered over Will's lips for longer than was necessary he couldn't seem to tear it away. 

When Will appeared in the kitchen his hair was still wet from the shower he was dressed in clean clothes some linen trousers and a shirt, he was clean shaven but still so pale.

"Good morning. You look better. My offer still stands if you would like?" Hannibal said and poured him some coffee setting the mug down in front of him as Will carefully sat down at the small table.

"Your offer?" Will said taking the coffee and smelling it.

Hannibal could smell the soap Will had used on his skin starting to mingle with his sweat.

"To cut your hair. You have shaved the beard I see." Hannibal brushed a finger along the scar on Will's cheek it was redder than before. "I have some salve for the scar you have irritated the skin let me get it." Will could still feel Hannibal's fingers on his cheek after he had left and gingerly put his fingers wear Hannibal's had just been. Hannibal returned with a small pot of something that smelled like peppermint. He sat beside Will and gently applied the salve to the scar. Will watched him as he did this with a curiosity, there was such concentration on Hannibal's face. "You want to cut my hair?" Will enquired as Hannibal's fingers fell away from Will's face who found he missed the touch.

"If you would like?" Hannibal said as he put the lid back on the pot of salve, he wiped his hand on the towel he had brought with him. 

"Have you cut hair before?" Will asked and sipped his coffee, the salve was soothing and smelt nice. 

"Yes once or twice." Hannibal replied and reached up and ran his fingers through Will's still damp hair, "I like it long though but I thought you might be hot."

"Hmm." Will said, leaning into Hannibal's hand that was still in Will's hair, Will had closed his eyes and was dozing off. 

Hannibal let him for a moment rest his head on Hannibal's hand, then he gently removed it and Will moaned a small quiet moan of objection. Hannibal smiled "drink your coffee you need to stay awake. Open your eyes Will." Hannibal said and stood up. "I will make you some toast, simple for your stomach and then we shall go for a short walk on the beach you need to get some sun and to use your muscles." Hannibal got up he touched the back of Will's head for a moment before he went to slice some bread for toast.

"Where did you sleep? Last night?" Will asked as he drank his coffee, his voice was deeper than before but stronger than last night. Will leant back in the chair and watched Hannibal as he sliced the bread, which Hannibal had baked, and put it in the toaster. It was the least amount Will had even seen Hannibal do in the kitchen but he still did it with such precise movements it was as mesmerising as ever. 

"I dozed in the chair in the bedroom. I wanted to make sure you slept." Hannibal replied as he brought the coffee pot over to Will and refilled it. He then went back to the counter and readied Will's plate for the toast.

"You didn't have to do that." Will said and he meant it.

"Yes I did." Hannibal said. "I keep my promises I said I would chase the nightmares away."

Will smiled at that but it didn't quite meet his eyes. "Did you?" Will said, "chase them away?"

"You tell me. You seemed to quieten after a while." Hannibal thought of Will"s breath on the palm of his hand.

"Yes I think I slept a couple of hours. You didn't have to stay in the chair. I know sharing a bed with me would be uncomfortable with the thrashing and sweating but I could have slept on the sofa or you could have." Will said this earnestly, but the thought of Hannibal in his bed seemed far more natural than perhaps it should have.

"I know but I wanted to." Hannibal said and was interrupted by the toaster. He spread butter on the toast and then brought it over to Will who realised he was his hungry.

"Thank you." Will said as he started to eat.

"My pleasure." Hannibal said and watched Will consume the toast. "It's good to see you eat and hear your voice."

"I guess I needed my psychiatrist back." Will said and Hannibal smiled.

"Perhaps or just your friend." Hannibal replied and sipped his own coffee watching Will.

* * * *

Will decided to walk alone on the beach and left Hannibal with a book outside on their porch. It was too hot here for Will, it felt like Will would burst into flames out in the sunlight. The water looked so blue in the day, so different from the black he had been seeing at night. It felt strange to walk without a dog as if he had no purpose. Maybe he could find a stray but he didn't know how long they would be staying. His legs felt stiff at first like every movement creaked. Will walked down to the waves and walked in the more hard wet sand and let the cool water lap onto his feet getting the bottoms of his trouser get wet. He moved slowly but more surely as he allowed the heat to relax him. He would stop every now and then and rest letting the waves wash over his feet.

Hannibal watched Will as he walked down the beach slowly and gingerly. He wanted to go and help him he wanted to never leave his side. He thought about that embrace after they had killed the dragon, how Will had reached out for him and how they had clung on to each other. He could still smell the blood and salt in the air from the sea. He could still feel the slow lightening of the sky as the sun rose in heavy clouds, the darkness turning the blood from absolute black to a bright arterial red. That moment felt so very far away now, Will had withdrawn since, he was using all his energy to heal himself to make himself into whatever he was now.

Hannibal watched Will return he could see he was tired and struggling. Hannibal placed the book he had been pretending to read down by his chair and rose to help Will. He met him half way between the house and the sea, Hannibal put Will's arm around his shoulders and told him to lean on him and they made their way slowly back to the house. Hannibal helped Will to sit on the porch chair, he went inside and returned with a cold glass of lemonade and handed it to Will who greedily drank it down.

"Thank you." Will said he was breathless.

"Are you alright? Did you over exert yourself?" Hannibal said putting the back of his palm on Will's forehead it was hot but not feverish.

"Probably but it feels good." Will said, he closed his eyes and leant his head while he caught his breath.

Hannibal sat next to him and watched him intently, noticing his breathing the rise and fall of his chest, after a while it steadied and Hannibal was relieved.

Will could feel Hannibal's gaze on him almost as burning as the sun here. It used to unnerve him make him feel a cold stab of a shiver, now it made him feel whole like he was being seen for the first time under his skin in his bones. Will turned his head to look at Hannibal who was staring at him.

"I missed you." Hannibal said.  
Will smiled. "I was only gone half an hour." Will knowing that's not what Hannibal meant.

"I meant I missed you these few weeks. I missed talking to you." Hannibal said.

"I know. I'm sorry." Will said.

"You don't need to apologise." Hannibal said. "It's nice to have you back."

Will smiled he put his hand on Hannibal's knee and let it rest there. It was the first time Will had touched Hannibal in weeks. Hannibal could feel Will's hand like a heavy iron burn on his leg. He stared at it. Will leant his head on Hannibal's shoulder and closed his eyes dozing quietly as Hannibal watched the ocean.


End file.
